It seems I only write once in a blue moon. I hope it will be worth the wait... I found out that I won't be able to do summer missions. I was disappointed for a bit, but then realized that I don't have to go anywhere to be an instrument of God. So, now I am more excited then ever. I look around me and say to myself, what will God do through me today to further His kingdom?

I also found out that I will be moving again this coming May. I am bummed, to say the least. Over the past year I have met some amazing people. They daily inspire me to do and be more. I just want to hold on to them for as long as I can. I know that God has big plans for their lives and they need no distractions Now that I will be gone, nothing will stand in your way...I will miss you.

I just read that they are coming out with a pill to erase bad memories! I can think back and remember how much I would have loved that pill. But the more I think about it, I wonder, would I really take it? No matter how much I hated going through each and every moment, it has made me who I am today.... Now, the question here is....do you like who you are today? What if the things we wanted to erase happen to be lessons that we learned? They say that we learned from the past, then why do we want to erase it, I don't know about you, but I don't think I would want to go through the same horrible experiance again and again....even if I couldn't remember it....I mean how would we grow as a person if we never learned from our mistakes?

On the other side, they say that we could use it on rape victims or something similiar...something was taken from them, don't they have a right to grieve? Why is it that our society wants to make everything "ok"? Why do we turn our back on emotion. No one wants to go through hurt and pain, but without those times do we really appericate the good times? hmmm what would you do?

Lately, I have been having problems with bad dreams. I don't know why. I can usually tell its a just a dream and wake myself up. But, for some reason I haven't been able to. They seem so real...They aren't dreams about monsters chancing me, or falling off a cliff. They are ones that could come true. Those are the scariest ones.

What are dreams, anyways? Are they a window to our deepest darkest fears and desires? Are we suppose to take heed from them, or just disregard them? In ancient traditions dreams were considered messages from the gods. Is God trying to hit me on top of the head, or is it my own insecurities?

Have you ever been some where, and you know what is going to happen next? You are certain you had a dream about it. What do you do? Play out this dream, as if it was just a reminder that you are on the right track. Or do you try to change it, because you feel like it was a warning, and now you have a chance to make it right. My question is...how seriously are we suppose to take our dreams?

Well, I find myself with some time on my hands. Which is few and far between... This is only my second entry, so today I will let you know a little about myself.

I am a college student, forever a college student. I am studying to be a nurse. This the #2 passion in life, taking care of others. I once got a fortune cookie that said: "You have a strong instinct to take care of the ones you love." I find this a perfect discription of myself.

I am sure you are wondering what is #1. No worries, you can stop holding your breath now. The answer: God. I am always awed by the way He is working in my life. I am currently praying about doing mission work this summer. Little by little God is breaking down the walls of my confront zone and showing me how to step out in faith. This is an exciting time!! He didn't call us to be comfortable, but he did call us to be perfect. Not perfect in a flawless since, but perfect in the way of doing His will. Perfect like a pen is perfect to write. We are a vessel for God's work, but we just have to be willing to submit.

There are other aspects of my life, but they are not nearly as exciting. No worries, I will put you to sleep with that one another day.